Figuratively that is! Still too cold to take all my clothes off!
First off let me explain my absence the last 2 days. I chose not to blog for a very good reason. I didn't want to! I need more practice at not doing stuff. I still tend to measure every days success by the practical things I achieved that day. I wish to measure more by what I might call spiritual progress. Measurement should be less about data, and more about feelings. Of course as I write that, I realize that having data makes me feel good. Alas...catch 22.
But I unintentionally practiced that skill a little bit this morning. I told you that I was gonna go run a 5K this morning and despite having a really lousy night, and despite the cold and drizzle that started the day I managed to get out of bed. This by the way was the sight that greeted me outside our bedroom door, both making me feel grateful, and proving that it was duck weather out there.
They've been visiting fairly regularly over the last week, and it makes me wish we had a pond. But we don't have one, and I don't think our topography would support one, so I will have to content myself with these occasional visitors. And Byron Katie says that if I don't have a pond it's cause I don't need one.....she's probably right.
But I digress....again.
Back to living less with data, and more on instinct. As I headed out the door today I took my watch off so that I could replace it with my garmin. That's the machine that tells me all the critically important data I need to be able to run!! I can't even go for a leisurely jog without it, or certainly I will fail.
It wasn't until I got to London that I realized I hadn't brought it!!!
No pace data, no distance data, and no heart rate data!! Holy crap! Believe it or not, I briefly considered whether I may have time to drive back home and still arrive at the start line on time. Fortunately sanity prevailed. After accepting that fact however, I realized that I didn't even have my regular watch with me, which would mean I would not even be able to check my progress at each km mark! I was gonna have to run the whole 5K without once having any idea of how slow I was going.
I suppose it's an indication of just how far my obsession has reached into my psychi that the idea of running 5 kilometres without anything but my own body to tell me how fast to go would cause me stress.
And I suppose it's also an indication that I should do more of it.
Besides...it all worked out. Despite the same kind of nervousness that nagged me last week during the 10K, in hindsight I can honestly say that I was never taxed. No dizziness, no shortness of breath, no nothing. It was with some pleasure that when I first seen the clock it said 25 something, and I managed to finish in just under 26 minutes. Considering my current level of mental and physical health, I consider that a perfect result.
I think there's a message in the fact that I seem to run more comfortably at a race than at home. I suspect it's the mental and physical warmup that it's hard to find the discipline for on a regular day. Mind you this kind of preparation should not normally be necessary for a training run, but probably is for me at this point, simply because of my lack of confidence. But I'm okay with that. I enjoyed the race very much today once I got started, and so I'm simply gonna do more of them. If that's all it takes to get me back into a regular running groove I will be very grateful.
"I'm gonna put a curse on you and all your kids will be born completely naked."---Jimi Hendrix
Love
Peter
First off let me explain my absence the last 2 days. I chose not to blog for a very good reason. I didn't want to! I need more practice at not doing stuff. I still tend to measure every days success by the practical things I achieved that day. I wish to measure more by what I might call spiritual progress. Measurement should be less about data, and more about feelings. Of course as I write that, I realize that having data makes me feel good. Alas...catch 22.
But I unintentionally practiced that skill a little bit this morning. I told you that I was gonna go run a 5K this morning and despite having a really lousy night, and despite the cold and drizzle that started the day I managed to get out of bed. This by the way was the sight that greeted me outside our bedroom door, both making me feel grateful, and proving that it was duck weather out there.
They've been visiting fairly regularly over the last week, and it makes me wish we had a pond. But we don't have one, and I don't think our topography would support one, so I will have to content myself with these occasional visitors. And Byron Katie says that if I don't have a pond it's cause I don't need one.....she's probably right.
But I digress....again.
Back to living less with data, and more on instinct. As I headed out the door today I took my watch off so that I could replace it with my garmin. That's the machine that tells me all the critically important data I need to be able to run!! I can't even go for a leisurely jog without it, or certainly I will fail.
It wasn't until I got to London that I realized I hadn't brought it!!!
No pace data, no distance data, and no heart rate data!! Holy crap! Believe it or not, I briefly considered whether I may have time to drive back home and still arrive at the start line on time. Fortunately sanity prevailed. After accepting that fact however, I realized that I didn't even have my regular watch with me, which would mean I would not even be able to check my progress at each km mark! I was gonna have to run the whole 5K without once having any idea of how slow I was going.
I suppose it's an indication of just how far my obsession has reached into my psychi that the idea of running 5 kilometres without anything but my own body to tell me how fast to go would cause me stress.
And I suppose it's also an indication that I should do more of it.
Besides...it all worked out. Despite the same kind of nervousness that nagged me last week during the 10K, in hindsight I can honestly say that I was never taxed. No dizziness, no shortness of breath, no nothing. It was with some pleasure that when I first seen the clock it said 25 something, and I managed to finish in just under 26 minutes. Considering my current level of mental and physical health, I consider that a perfect result.
I think there's a message in the fact that I seem to run more comfortably at a race than at home. I suspect it's the mental and physical warmup that it's hard to find the discipline for on a regular day. Mind you this kind of preparation should not normally be necessary for a training run, but probably is for me at this point, simply because of my lack of confidence. But I'm okay with that. I enjoyed the race very much today once I got started, and so I'm simply gonna do more of them. If that's all it takes to get me back into a regular running groove I will be very grateful.
"I'm gonna put a curse on you and all your kids will be born completely naked."---Jimi Hendrix
Love
Peter
Fuckin' LOVE it!! You too...
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteYou came to London and didn't tell me! Really!!
ReplyDeleteLove, gail
Right on!
ReplyDelete