The day that running 5 kms was like walking. I actually started out with a dizzy spell, and although I didn't like it, it did not change my beliefs that it's still all in my head. I walked for a few minutes, and tried again. I then managed my 5K but only with a supreme effort, despite not having done anything yesterday.
I had 2 successive nights of what I would call exhausting dreams. It's not like they're nightmares per say, but they involve desperately trying to get somewhere, or desperately trying to achieve something. Upon waking I only have a sense of failure.
It's frustrating. I determinedly marshal my strengths every single day, working really hard physically, and mentally, and then get beat up all night when I'm defenceless.
And while I'm pretty certain that the answer to the night time problems lies in behaviour changes during my waking hours, I just don't know what they are. All I can do is keep searching.
.... maybe I'm just looking for things that don't exist...
"I hope to soon be in contact with the man who is searching for Noah's ark."---Jim Sullivan
Love
Peter
I had 2 successive nights of what I would call exhausting dreams. It's not like they're nightmares per say, but they involve desperately trying to get somewhere, or desperately trying to achieve something. Upon waking I only have a sense of failure.
It's frustrating. I determinedly marshal my strengths every single day, working really hard physically, and mentally, and then get beat up all night when I'm defenceless.
And while I'm pretty certain that the answer to the night time problems lies in behaviour changes during my waking hours, I just don't know what they are. All I can do is keep searching.
.... maybe I'm just looking for things that don't exist...
"I hope to soon be in contact with the man who is searching for Noah's ark."---Jim Sullivan
Love
Peter
I wonder what would happen if you forced yourself to run with a partner? I think this is not your favourite thing, but I wonder if the distraction and conversation of the partner would break the hold your subconscious has over you?
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I guess Pete is one of many smart siblings ;)
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