While I managed to avoid doing the Internet research, I didn't manage to leave the thing well enough alone. That was asking too much of myself, as it got more irritating with each passing day. Can you imagine a very sharp object sticking out the side of your gum and into the inside of your cheek?? I eventually got to the point of packing gauze in there just to be able to cope. And I think I could have held on for several days like that if it wasn't for the extreme anxiety that was also building every day. I'm afraid that anything to do with my mouth/teeth/jaw still makes me irrationally nervous.
I eventually caved around noon yesterday, and to their credit they once again got me in right away. Happy birthday to me!! How many people get the opportunity to turn 61, and go to the dentist on the same day??
The crazy thing is that I should also have done the Internet research, because for the very first time in my life I think it would have settled me a bit. Most people know the usual effect that too much medical information has on ones brain. In this case however, if I had done the surfing I would have learned that small bone or root fragments are a fairly common complication of difficult extractions, and that indeed they are sometime hard for the dentist to find.
Alas, like I said, they got me back in and I feel sooooo much better. I still have lost all confidence in this guy, and can't quite understand why I remained loyal to him for so long. Perhaps it's my nature, or perhaps I'm just afraid of change. Thirty years is a long time! And although I feel 100% better physically I'm still anxious. I am waiting for the other shoe to drop. Only time will help that I think, but I still want to be ready with an option next time I have problems.
In a first step towards that, I applied to be a patient at the university dentistry school. They have to find me interesting enough, but if I can get in there it's a whole lot cheaper. They claim 60% of the usual cost. Hopefully my radiation experience will make me interesting, rather than disqualify me. You also have to live within a 45 minute drive, and google maps says I'm 44 minutes with usual traffic. We shall see, but it sure would make me happy to get in there. While of course there is the aforementioned drive, their facility is right across the street from son Michael's office on campus. He would be able to buy me lots of lunches. :)
And while the first part of my 61st day was absolutely crappy, the second half more than made up for it. I knew that Roo had invited the kids over for some cake and ice cream, but can you imagine my surprise when I got back to the house to find that son Michael had stopped by? And can you further imagine my utter shock when I realized that son Peter was also sitting in my living room, courtesy of an invite from Claudette, and transportation provided by Michael.(thanks Mike) It has been almost 3 years since Peter has been here.
And beyond telling you that it brought me to tears I choose not to say much more about that moment for now. It was very emotional. Things got even better though when the kids showed up, and when Miguette chose to make the difficult decisions to join us, look easy.
What I do choose to tell you is that once again my wife has proven her nearly unlimited capacity for forgiveness. I am in awe. I will never ever forget the gift she gave me this day!!
Lastly, I want to thank Peter, not for actually coming to visit, but rather for walking the difficult road to get here. I know it has not been easy, but perhaps it's been worth it?
So that was my 61st in a nutshell. I still feel like a fragile person after the episode, and I know darn well that I'm only feeling better until the next crisis. I am the first to concede that my level of stress was far out of proportion to the actual issue, and I need to stay resolved to effect change in my life if I'm gonna enjoy my remaining 19 years. Only 6931 days, and yes I accounted for leap years!!
Oh, and I'm also making a first step towards preparing for the next crisis by meeting with my friend Gail tomorrow. She knows a lot of stuff, and I'm gonna probe deeply. I hope your ready sister dear!
And there are about a million quotes out there about failure, and yet almost every last one of them sounds the same. Failure is good/failure is learning/failure is just a detour, blah, blah, blah. I finally settled on this one. It had a twist I liked better.
"Success unshared is failure."--- John Paul DeJoria
Love
Peter
I eventually caved around noon yesterday, and to their credit they once again got me in right away. Happy birthday to me!! How many people get the opportunity to turn 61, and go to the dentist on the same day??
The crazy thing is that I should also have done the Internet research, because for the very first time in my life I think it would have settled me a bit. Most people know the usual effect that too much medical information has on ones brain. In this case however, if I had done the surfing I would have learned that small bone or root fragments are a fairly common complication of difficult extractions, and that indeed they are sometime hard for the dentist to find.
Alas, like I said, they got me back in and I feel sooooo much better. I still have lost all confidence in this guy, and can't quite understand why I remained loyal to him for so long. Perhaps it's my nature, or perhaps I'm just afraid of change. Thirty years is a long time! And although I feel 100% better physically I'm still anxious. I am waiting for the other shoe to drop. Only time will help that I think, but I still want to be ready with an option next time I have problems.
In a first step towards that, I applied to be a patient at the university dentistry school. They have to find me interesting enough, but if I can get in there it's a whole lot cheaper. They claim 60% of the usual cost. Hopefully my radiation experience will make me interesting, rather than disqualify me. You also have to live within a 45 minute drive, and google maps says I'm 44 minutes with usual traffic. We shall see, but it sure would make me happy to get in there. While of course there is the aforementioned drive, their facility is right across the street from son Michael's office on campus. He would be able to buy me lots of lunches. :)
And while the first part of my 61st day was absolutely crappy, the second half more than made up for it. I knew that Roo had invited the kids over for some cake and ice cream, but can you imagine my surprise when I got back to the house to find that son Michael had stopped by? And can you further imagine my utter shock when I realized that son Peter was also sitting in my living room, courtesy of an invite from Claudette, and transportation provided by Michael.(thanks Mike) It has been almost 3 years since Peter has been here.
And beyond telling you that it brought me to tears I choose not to say much more about that moment for now. It was very emotional. Things got even better though when the kids showed up, and when Miguette chose to make the difficult decisions to join us, look easy.
What I do choose to tell you is that once again my wife has proven her nearly unlimited capacity for forgiveness. I am in awe. I will never ever forget the gift she gave me this day!!
Lastly, I want to thank Peter, not for actually coming to visit, but rather for walking the difficult road to get here. I know it has not been easy, but perhaps it's been worth it?
So that was my 61st in a nutshell. I still feel like a fragile person after the episode, and I know darn well that I'm only feeling better until the next crisis. I am the first to concede that my level of stress was far out of proportion to the actual issue, and I need to stay resolved to effect change in my life if I'm gonna enjoy my remaining 19 years. Only 6931 days, and yes I accounted for leap years!!
Oh, and I'm also making a first step towards preparing for the next crisis by meeting with my friend Gail tomorrow. She knows a lot of stuff, and I'm gonna probe deeply. I hope your ready sister dear!
And there are about a million quotes out there about failure, and yet almost every last one of them sounds the same. Failure is good/failure is learning/failure is just a detour, blah, blah, blah. I finally settled on this one. It had a twist I liked better.
"Success unshared is failure."--- John Paul DeJoria
Love
Peter
I'm in awe of your wife and your sons! If I'm being totally honest I'm ever so slightly in awe of you too. Love you brother, you old geezer!
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday old fart.
ReplyDeleteI also have to give you this advice. Be careful what you wish for!
Love holij
I'm just glad you did something about it and went in to get it fixed! So though the first half of your day was crappy, it was better than it would have been if you had not gone in at all. And I'm also glad Peter and I could come down to surprise you!
ReplyDeleteLove you lots!
Michael