"Thoughts"

I've got so many really cool ideas floating around in my head, and every time I try to translate them into words I get stuck.  They seem so random and yet somehow like they should belong together.   I think death is the centre around which they revolve---or maybe resolve---or maybe both?

Do you think that perhaps the only reason we ever rush around getting shit done is because we are afraid of dying.  Why else would it matter?  Whatever doesn't get done today we can to tomorrow can we not?  Unless we're dead!  Then we better rush to get the groceries done eh??

Same goes for the anxiety that keeps us (me) from relaxing when I feel like I haven't achieved enough.  I must be afraid that I'm wasting time that I'll never have back.  Gotta fill all the waking hours with measurable efforts!

And why would anyone be afraid of dying?  Actually with a bit of help from Byron Katie I know the answer to that.  We are afraid of death, only because we think it's not as good as life!  

Once I change that for myself then all fear should go away should it not?   I believe it will.

Funny thing is, most religions tells us that death is the just the beginning of happiness, and yet I'm pretty confident that relatively speaking, most of the church goers are just as scared as those who don't practice.

I think part of the problem is accepting the aging of our bodies.  The only thing we have to compare to is yesterday, and sad but true, we were younger yesterday.  

And I realize that even in my last sentence (sad but true) I'm suggesting that the road to death need be an unhappy one.  That of course further implies that death itself is bad. 

So I don't know if that all makes any sense as I describe it, but I know that in my head it does.  Simply put, I need to change, or perhaps discard totally, my beliefs about aging and dying.  

That will take some work, but today is a good a day as any to start.

Towards that end, today I made a significant change to my triathlon bike setup.  I moved my aero bars, and elbow pads up a full 2 cms!!  That's a bit less than an inch to anyone over 60, and while that may not seem that much, trust me, t it's a radical move.  The change will make me less aerodynamic, but should make me much more comfortable.  I hope t test it by the weekend as the weather man suggests that spring may indeed finally be arriving.  

And to use my bike change as a metaphor for my aging and dying stuff, I could say that I need to slow down, enjoy the ride some more, and stop counting the minutes that I may be wasting just for the sake of comfort.

And last but not least I have very exciting news to share.  My wife and I are gonna do something together that we haven't done in a long time.  

Yup!  It's gonna be a hoot!

Are you ready for this?

Roo has kindly agreed to join me at the MEC races next week, and we're gonna do the 12K trails together!  I tell you I am very, very excited.  We used to do this stuff all the time, but this will be the first in more than 10 years.  I can't wait!!

Oh and one more last last thing because I gotta get it off my chest.  Why is Francis, the head of the one, holy, catholic, and apostolic church, (I remember that from catechism class), and the spiritual leader of 1.2 billion catholics, and the representative of Jesus on earth, alternately being applauded or criticized by those very same 1.2 billions, because he said we should be more tolerant???

 I don't know which of those positions I find the most absurd.  God help me!!

Phew...now I feel better.  Besides, from my Katie reading I know that's God's business not mine, so I'm gonna step out of it.  

"Tolerance is giving to every other human being every right that you claim for yourself."---Robert Green Ingersoll

Love

Peter