"Inspired"

It's after 10 pm which is already past my bedtime, and I had no intention of tossing anything out there today.  But first Elly's heartfelt post inspired me, and then Janis Joplin came over my earbuds with an introduction to one of her major hits.

Here's Janis...

"This song has got something to say to you, if you can dig it.  It's talking about life man, and what passes by you, and what you've missed, and what you grab man.  It's a song called, get it while you can, cause it ain't gonna be there when you wakeup man"

So I thought perhaps just a few words about how I'm doing, because I know you care, and who knows what tomorrow will bring, if anything?   I'm doing okay, maybe even a little better than okay.

And what may surprise you about that is that I have actually taken a step backwards from a physical perspective.  I'm back where I was 6 or 8 weeks ago, basically unable to run, and feeling listless and fat.  The dizzy spells that were practically gone, have returned with a vengeance, and as a matter of fact I had one today at home hardware, despite not having worked out for several days.  I had no choice but to hang my heed between my legs cause I'm sure I would have ended up on the floor otherwise. Not that I want you worrying about that, because somehow I still know that it's not anything serious.

The positive in all that is that I have not regressed emotionally despite the frustrations, and as a matter of fact I think I've moved forward.  Strange that the bizarre dreams seem to have returned at the same time, and yet even that hasn't put me back down.

I actually feel like I'm on the cusp of a breakthrough, and again I don't mean physically.  My recent reading has helped, as well as the ongoing wonderful support of family and friends. I think focusing on some of them a bit more has helped me.  We went to the horse races with Michael and a bunch of friends on friday evening, and then Roo and I spent five hours in the car saturday just to watch our youngest son play hockey for an hour. As an aside to that Adrian was playing in the Magna tournament, the very same one that his mother  played in during it's inaugural, more than 25 years years ago!!  Holy crap!!

So yeah, things are okay.  Some days I can even imagine a future that involves only fitness training, without an Ironman at the end of it.  Maybe I could live a life of riding and running just for the sake of my health, and not because it is a desperate need.  Who knows eh?

Anyway, just wanted to let you know that I'm doing good!  Cause I know you care :)

"So I got me a pen and a paper, and I made up my own little sign
I said thank you Lord for thinking bout me,
I'm alive and doin fine"---Les Emmerson(Five man electrical band)

"Tomorrow never happens.  It's all the same fucking day man"---Janis Joplin

Love
Peter