As I sit here in my easy chair I can identify several things that I consider real. Facts, I guess you could say. Things that my senses tell me are real. Tangible stuff.
For example,
I know I rode my bike 50 kms today because my computer said so, and I clearly remember making the tuns and taking the roads that were that distance other times.
I know I weigh almost 180 pounds because I have consistently used the same scale, and I have watched it gradually climb from 165 last summer.
I know that I spent part of my day working on a new coffee table for our living room. because I can see it sitting in front of me, and I still have some glue on my fingers.
But then there's all that other stuff. The less tangible, the less measurable stuff, stuff that's more a place in your mind than a reflection of your senses.
And when I claim a need to accept reality it's all that other stuff I'm talking about. While I don't like that I weigh 180 pounds, I have no problem accepting it, and know pretty well that I can choose to change it if I like.
But ask me if it's reality that I'm too old, too weak, too sick, too neurotic, too stupid to eventually go back to Mont Tremblant and get it right, and I can't answer the question.
Cause I don't know if it's reality?? That space in my mind remains in turmoil. I enter all the data I have and start inching towards a conclusion, and then something happens and I'm back to wondering.
Like today. I got on my bike and rode 50 kms at 30 kms/hr, at an average of 150 watts, and I didn't even really try that hard. It was just a good steady ride with a gradually increasing intensity. The last 10K was over 33 kms/hr, with a power output of 167 watts. And that after doing the 12K trail race yesterday. There was absolutely no indication of fatigue, or soreness. I felt great, bolstered no doubt by the incredible weather.
And maybe it's all pretty pathetic, and maybe I'm just refusing to accept what's obvious to the rest of you, but I guess I'm just not ready. Perhaps I need to suffer some more?
And lastly for today there is one other thing I know for sure! I'm sure because sister Mary told me so, and that makes it irrefutable She informed me at exactly 12:52 this morning that she had just became a grandma! So welcome to my world, Ms Avery Marie Grosicki!! Woohoo! I hope she reads my blog :)
Oh, and one more thing. A big shout out to sister Elly today, She's been a grandma forever already so not for that, but rather for the fact that she has been as courageous a person as I know for far longer. This one's for you.
"The worst guilt is to accept an unearned guilt."---Ayn Rand
Love
Peter
For example,
I know I rode my bike 50 kms today because my computer said so, and I clearly remember making the tuns and taking the roads that were that distance other times.
I know I weigh almost 180 pounds because I have consistently used the same scale, and I have watched it gradually climb from 165 last summer.
I know that I spent part of my day working on a new coffee table for our living room. because I can see it sitting in front of me, and I still have some glue on my fingers.
But then there's all that other stuff. The less tangible, the less measurable stuff, stuff that's more a place in your mind than a reflection of your senses.
And when I claim a need to accept reality it's all that other stuff I'm talking about. While I don't like that I weigh 180 pounds, I have no problem accepting it, and know pretty well that I can choose to change it if I like.
But ask me if it's reality that I'm too old, too weak, too sick, too neurotic, too stupid to eventually go back to Mont Tremblant and get it right, and I can't answer the question.
Cause I don't know if it's reality?? That space in my mind remains in turmoil. I enter all the data I have and start inching towards a conclusion, and then something happens and I'm back to wondering.
Like today. I got on my bike and rode 50 kms at 30 kms/hr, at an average of 150 watts, and I didn't even really try that hard. It was just a good steady ride with a gradually increasing intensity. The last 10K was over 33 kms/hr, with a power output of 167 watts. And that after doing the 12K trail race yesterday. There was absolutely no indication of fatigue, or soreness. I felt great, bolstered no doubt by the incredible weather.
And maybe it's all pretty pathetic, and maybe I'm just refusing to accept what's obvious to the rest of you, but I guess I'm just not ready. Perhaps I need to suffer some more?
And lastly for today there is one other thing I know for sure! I'm sure because sister Mary told me so, and that makes it irrefutable She informed me at exactly 12:52 this morning that she had just became a grandma! So welcome to my world, Ms Avery Marie Grosicki!! Woohoo! I hope she reads my blog :)
Oh, and one more thing. A big shout out to sister Elly today, She's been a grandma forever already so not for that, but rather for the fact that she has been as courageous a person as I know for far longer. This one's for you.
"The worst guilt is to accept an unearned guilt."---Ayn Rand
Love
Peter
I enjoyed catching up today and I'm so glad you found joy in your run and your ride and most especially your grandchildren. As long as it brings sunshine to life, yours or someone else's I say bring it on.
ReplyDeleteLove you
Isabella