I love analogies. They help me understand things that are foreign or new to me, and as well, I like to develop my own to help get my message across.
So I want to share a powerful memory that I think is a great analogy for depression.
I was probably 15 or 16 years old at the time, living on the farm (I hadn't been thrown out yet), and I had been assigned a task by father dearest. I don't remember their exact purpose but it involved pounding some stakes in the ground near the end of the driveway. While at that age I studiously applied myself to avoiding any work, once I did get caught up in something, I usually worked hard. I remember swinging that sledge hammer with great enthusiasm, even though it was a very awkward position due to the slope on the edge of the drive. Things were going along swimmingly, until one blow of the hammer glanced off the side of the stake, and then consequently glanced off the top of my knee cap!!!!
I tell you I can still fucking feel it 45 years later!!!!
So to connect the analogy. Like depression, the crushing pain of the hammer was a surprise. Like depression, your mind tells you it should stop hurting soon, but soon never seems to come! Like bouts of depression, you just wanna curl up in a ball and die right at that moment! And like depression, unless you have ever hit your self on the knee cap with a 20 lb hammer, you're not qualified to talk about it.
"One good analogy is worth three hours discussion."---Dudley Field Malone
So I want to share a powerful memory that I think is a great analogy for depression.
I was probably 15 or 16 years old at the time, living on the farm (I hadn't been thrown out yet), and I had been assigned a task by father dearest. I don't remember their exact purpose but it involved pounding some stakes in the ground near the end of the driveway. While at that age I studiously applied myself to avoiding any work, once I did get caught up in something, I usually worked hard. I remember swinging that sledge hammer with great enthusiasm, even though it was a very awkward position due to the slope on the edge of the drive. Things were going along swimmingly, until one blow of the hammer glanced off the side of the stake, and then consequently glanced off the top of my knee cap!!!!
I tell you I can still fucking feel it 45 years later!!!!
So to connect the analogy. Like depression, the crushing pain of the hammer was a surprise. Like depression, your mind tells you it should stop hurting soon, but soon never seems to come! Like bouts of depression, you just wanna curl up in a ball and die right at that moment! And like depression, unless you have ever hit your self on the knee cap with a 20 lb hammer, you're not qualified to talk about it.
"One good analogy is worth three hours discussion."---Dudley Field Malone
Love
Peter
You should write this date down, because I am going to cede your point albeit only conditionally. If when you say "is not qualified to talk about it" you really mean is not capable of describing how it feels, I totally agree. To me though, "talking" about depression and "feeling" what depression feels like are two totally different things, and both the quote and your analogy refer to talking about it. Even with your detailed explanation, I cannot possibly imagine the pain you are describing, and I can only do my best to empathize.
ReplyDeleteOn the subject of talking about it though, I feel I do have lots to offer because even though I personally have never suffered this particular affliction, I have had a ringside seat to someone who has smashed their knee with a sledge regularly for the 35+ years I have known and loved them. To use your analogy, I think if you have watched someone smash their knee and don't offer any suggestions for either dealing with the pain, or preventing a repeat knee smashing, you are being selfish.....even if the said knee smasher doesn't feel you have anything relevant to offer.
My next thought brings me to question exactly what you get out of describing your depression in such detail? Is it for my benefit and those others who have never felt it so we can try to know what you are feeling? Is it cathartic for you? Does it actually improve your mood to provide this description? Does it provide any level of relief from the pain to think and write about it?
I can't help but thinking that the expression of "nobody knows how bad this feels" referred to in the quote and the analogy is actually a part of, or function of the disease itself.
To that end, I also cannot help but thinking that describing the horrible feeling is actually causing you to put more focus on it, thus prolonging or even possibly worsening it.
I don't pretend to know everything about everything.....oh wait....I actually do pretend that from time to time, and I know nothing about what depression feels like, but that is not going to stop me from talking about it any time the subject arises.
I will close with a link to follow if anyone is interested as I think it may be useful or relevant.
http://encore-gpa.blogspot.ca/2012/09/a-gift-for-you.html
Love Holij
I agree with your brother, in that although I have never experienced depression, as a mental health worker I'm surrounded by it. Just a few weeks ago I was on the crisis phone with someone who told me I was going to "hear them die". This phone call ended with the house (coincidentally the person lived across the street from the group home I was in) being surrounded by police; as they had threatened to shoot the police too. Nothing psychotic about this individual...they have anxiety and depression. And while I've had many phone calls during my short career, as well as one to one talks with people...I think it's fair for me to say I have an understanding on the disorder. Even though I don't "understand" it. Does that make sense? And I too will continue to talk about it - to raise awareness, to discourage stigma, and to prevent crisis from happening (if I can!)
ReplyDeleteAs for you blogging about it...if that's a coping strategy for you, then by all means blog ��
Love you.