Of course! What else?
I'm writing this post in the morning which is a very unusual thing for me. I woke up on this beautiful January Sunday feeling very down. I immediately questioned why I made a commitment to start blogging again, because depression is not normally conducive to a desire to interact with the world.
Alas, it also tells me why I decided to (needed to) do so.
Because I need to make changes. As I evaluate my 60 year old life, and consider living for another twenty, I'm pretty sure that I want it to be different than the last several have been. And no, I'm not bemoaning the recent years of my life, nor the decisions I've made, I just know that many things need to be different from here on in.
I also know that change doesn't happen instantly, or just because I crave it, and so I will try to be patient with myself, while remaining determined.
I could start with a long list of things that I want to start doing, or an even longer list of what I want to stop doing, but I think it's best to start in general terms, and then go from there.
I think my needs probably centre around two very different, but in my case at least, very inter-related themes. Two very giant, all encompassing themes.
Parenthood! & Control!
In very basic terms, I have to give up both of them. Yes! Give them up! Stop parenting, and stop trying to control the world. "IT'S TIME!!!!"
So that's what I'm gonna be focusing on in the coming months, and the very idea frightens the hell out of me. Be patient, but just like ironman, hold me accountable....please!
The other issue I will de discussing at length is of course my health, and as I mentioned, both mental and physical. More on that as time wears on.
And I think that's enough for today, but before I go, a picture. For undetermined reasons, right now I can not run at all, and since I do not feel like sitting in the basement on the trainer, I talked to Roo about trying to ride outside. While that's certainly possible to do on a road or triathlon bike, it's not very much fun in the winter time. As always Roo supported my decision to invest in this. It cost lees than a years worth of cigarettes, and yet when the year is over, I will still have it.
I really, really like it, and I am even a bit surprised at how much I love riding it. I don't even mind the half hour it takes to prepare to go riding in the cold. It's a Trek, carbon fibre, front suspension mountain bike, model name Superfly!! Nice eh? As an aside, I had to spend $33 on a pair of socks (3 days cigarettes, or one day of booze), but I don't resent that a bit!!
Once Colby gets up today I'm gonna get my gear on, have him set me put with his GoPro, and get out there for an hour or so. I will try my best to get a short clip of video, and see if I can post it on here tomorrow. The sun is shining!! Game on!
It's time!
And below may be just the inspiration I need. The longer I keep modelling my current behaviour the greater the chance my children will emulate it. And an even greater fear may be that it could do the same to my grandchildren...... I think "it's time".
"Don't try to make children grow up to be like you, or they may do it."---Russell Baker
Love
Peter
I'm writing this post in the morning which is a very unusual thing for me. I woke up on this beautiful January Sunday feeling very down. I immediately questioned why I made a commitment to start blogging again, because depression is not normally conducive to a desire to interact with the world.
Alas, it also tells me why I decided to (needed to) do so.
Because I need to make changes. As I evaluate my 60 year old life, and consider living for another twenty, I'm pretty sure that I want it to be different than the last several have been. And no, I'm not bemoaning the recent years of my life, nor the decisions I've made, I just know that many things need to be different from here on in.
I also know that change doesn't happen instantly, or just because I crave it, and so I will try to be patient with myself, while remaining determined.
I could start with a long list of things that I want to start doing, or an even longer list of what I want to stop doing, but I think it's best to start in general terms, and then go from there.
I think my needs probably centre around two very different, but in my case at least, very inter-related themes. Two very giant, all encompassing themes.
Parenthood! & Control!
In very basic terms, I have to give up both of them. Yes! Give them up! Stop parenting, and stop trying to control the world. "IT'S TIME!!!!"
So that's what I'm gonna be focusing on in the coming months, and the very idea frightens the hell out of me. Be patient, but just like ironman, hold me accountable....please!
The other issue I will de discussing at length is of course my health, and as I mentioned, both mental and physical. More on that as time wears on.
And I think that's enough for today, but before I go, a picture. For undetermined reasons, right now I can not run at all, and since I do not feel like sitting in the basement on the trainer, I talked to Roo about trying to ride outside. While that's certainly possible to do on a road or triathlon bike, it's not very much fun in the winter time. As always Roo supported my decision to invest in this. It cost lees than a years worth of cigarettes, and yet when the year is over, I will still have it.
I really, really like it, and I am even a bit surprised at how much I love riding it. I don't even mind the half hour it takes to prepare to go riding in the cold. It's a Trek, carbon fibre, front suspension mountain bike, model name Superfly!! Nice eh? As an aside, I had to spend $33 on a pair of socks (3 days cigarettes, or one day of booze), but I don't resent that a bit!!
Once Colby gets up today I'm gonna get my gear on, have him set me put with his GoPro, and get out there for an hour or so. I will try my best to get a short clip of video, and see if I can post it on here tomorrow. The sun is shining!! Game on!
It's time!
And below may be just the inspiration I need. The longer I keep modelling my current behaviour the greater the chance my children will emulate it. And an even greater fear may be that it could do the same to my grandchildren...... I think "it's time".
"Don't try to make children grow up to be like you, or they may do it."---Russell Baker
Love
Peter
I really think your kids can parent themselves. It's the grandkids you may have to be careful about. I'm not sure exactly what I mean by that; it popped into my head as I read your post. Control, well that's another story..
ReplyDeleteLove, gail
But what if your child wants to be just like you. There is not a day that goes by dad that I wish I could be more like you. Love ya
ReplyDeleteSerious food for thought!
ReplyDelete