You may recall earlier this year during one of my video blogs that I was complaining of the stupidity of the statement, "hope for the best, expect the worst"!
I was immediately reprimanded for my negative attitude, and furthermore, advised by more than one person that I had the expression wrong. Apparently it's supposed to be, "prepare for the worst, expect the best".
Well okay then. While I still think that the idea of preparing for the worst can be self fulfilling, it certainly is a lot more positive expression than my version.
And while I have been a bit slow in applying the better version in my life, I think I managed to do it over the last few days.
When I broke another tooth the other day I was pretty upset, but I got a grip quickly. Perhaps because I knew that letting myself fall into despair like I did with the initial problem two weeks ago, and then once again a week ago with the bridge, wasn't going to achieve anything.
So I accepted that losing the tooth was highly probable (it felt extremely loose), but by now I knew enough about various procedures that it allowed me to focus on possible solutions.
So it was with a pretty good attitude I headed to the dentist for the 6th time in 2 weeks!!!
Guess what?
I still have the tooth, temporarily repaired. It is quite loose but not broken into the root.
And I go back next Friday to start working on a fairly extensive bridge that will encompass 3 remaining teeth, as well as replace a missing one on that side. If all goes well it will give me a good chewing surface on one side at least, and then after that I can still consider an implant on the other side. The best part is that it should give extended life to the three existing teeth, all of which are in pretty rough shape. It should preempt any more of the crumbling problem. Needless to say, this most recent broken one is one of those that will now be protected.
So while I'm a slow learner I'm trying to apply my new attitude towards the way I feel physically. I'm reminded once again why I hate drugs, because they have me feeling like I'm moving through quicksand. I have been unable to manage my 5K for several days now, which simply is not acceptable. Starting tomorrow I'm going to make sure I at least walk it, and I'm gonna "expect" that in another week or so the drug side effects wear off.
I think I also mentioned that the doctor wanted to see me again, and I already knew why after seeing my blood tests. It seems I have a mild loss of kidney function which is probably just from the chemo drugs of years ago, and that we'll have to monitor it. My blood pressure was also quite high when I was in his office, and so I promised to monitor that daily for a while and check back with him in the new year.
On an aside, I wonder how most doctors feel about the fact that many patients have access to the results of their lab tests at the same time as the doctor, if not sooner. The stuff is just a few clicks away. I suspect that in some cases it causes lots of stress for both doctor and patient, but I like to believe that for me it is beneficial to go to my appointments with the data already known.
And speaking of clicking, Xmas shopping has become such a joy has it not? I'm pretty well done, the only major remaining decision being whether to buy socks online, or to get them at Costco during our next regular trip :).
And today, I am immensely, immensely, immensely grateful that I have the means to pay for my dental care. There are millions upon millions of people in our world who would simply have to accept what came, to the point of not having any teeth at all, not even artificial ones. And as I have that thought, I'm a little ashamed of my whining. Sorry everyone....
.....and thank you lord for thinking about me....
....and while this may seem like a simple thought, I'm not very good at it....
"Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer."---William S Burroughs
Love
Peter
I was immediately reprimanded for my negative attitude, and furthermore, advised by more than one person that I had the expression wrong. Apparently it's supposed to be, "prepare for the worst, expect the best".
Well okay then. While I still think that the idea of preparing for the worst can be self fulfilling, it certainly is a lot more positive expression than my version.
And while I have been a bit slow in applying the better version in my life, I think I managed to do it over the last few days.
When I broke another tooth the other day I was pretty upset, but I got a grip quickly. Perhaps because I knew that letting myself fall into despair like I did with the initial problem two weeks ago, and then once again a week ago with the bridge, wasn't going to achieve anything.
So I accepted that losing the tooth was highly probable (it felt extremely loose), but by now I knew enough about various procedures that it allowed me to focus on possible solutions.
So it was with a pretty good attitude I headed to the dentist for the 6th time in 2 weeks!!!
Guess what?
I still have the tooth, temporarily repaired. It is quite loose but not broken into the root.
And I go back next Friday to start working on a fairly extensive bridge that will encompass 3 remaining teeth, as well as replace a missing one on that side. If all goes well it will give me a good chewing surface on one side at least, and then after that I can still consider an implant on the other side. The best part is that it should give extended life to the three existing teeth, all of which are in pretty rough shape. It should preempt any more of the crumbling problem. Needless to say, this most recent broken one is one of those that will now be protected.
So while I'm a slow learner I'm trying to apply my new attitude towards the way I feel physically. I'm reminded once again why I hate drugs, because they have me feeling like I'm moving through quicksand. I have been unable to manage my 5K for several days now, which simply is not acceptable. Starting tomorrow I'm going to make sure I at least walk it, and I'm gonna "expect" that in another week or so the drug side effects wear off.
I think I also mentioned that the doctor wanted to see me again, and I already knew why after seeing my blood tests. It seems I have a mild loss of kidney function which is probably just from the chemo drugs of years ago, and that we'll have to monitor it. My blood pressure was also quite high when I was in his office, and so I promised to monitor that daily for a while and check back with him in the new year.
On an aside, I wonder how most doctors feel about the fact that many patients have access to the results of their lab tests at the same time as the doctor, if not sooner. The stuff is just a few clicks away. I suspect that in some cases it causes lots of stress for both doctor and patient, but I like to believe that for me it is beneficial to go to my appointments with the data already known.
And speaking of clicking, Xmas shopping has become such a joy has it not? I'm pretty well done, the only major remaining decision being whether to buy socks online, or to get them at Costco during our next regular trip :).
And today, I am immensely, immensely, immensely grateful that I have the means to pay for my dental care. There are millions upon millions of people in our world who would simply have to accept what came, to the point of not having any teeth at all, not even artificial ones. And as I have that thought, I'm a little ashamed of my whining. Sorry everyone....
.....and thank you lord for thinking about me....
....and while this may seem like a simple thought, I'm not very good at it....
"Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer."---William S Burroughs
Love
Peter
Love, love, love this post! Good on you, big brother!
ReplyDeleteSo proud of you - for your continued endeavour to feel gratitude and to work through your latest shitty experiences. Also, as much as we can all learn to cut down on whining, I have to say, I have never felt you to be a "whiner", generally speaking, especially given all of the daily crap you have to deal with as a result of the cancer treatment and radiation. We really do take for granted our saliva and our mouths, and I wonder how much people truly realize the extent of how crappy it can be, like the inability to eat certain foods/textures, taste not being the same, having to worry about having water with you at all times, etc, etc.
ReplyDeleteLove you!
Michael